Before we move on to our real writing test, we had a practice of what a real writing test would turn out to be. We had a picture chosen by our teacher and we had to write a narrative under 40min. This is my narrative called The isolated tree. We had 3 different kinds of sentences in our writing. In pink is complex, orange is compound, and blue is a simple sentence. My normal writing is on the bottom. Please read and leave a comment to help out with my writing. Thank You!
The isolated tree
While Chris was alive, he was hated by many people. This was because he took out all competitions in the town of Pollygan. At the age of 39 Chris passed away from a terrible accident. This was good news to people who hated Chris, but was bad news for his siblings. Chris was buried close to a farm. Where his grandfather lived 19 year ago until he passed. People of Pollygon made up a lie to stay away from the grave. Months passed by, the grave was lonely at all times. Then…. one night a spell fell upon the grave and from there a tree grew. No one had seen this new plant. But a girl named Christine who would always walk by to go school and back home. 2 months later the tree grew bigger and it was also alive. Chris was back - but not in the way he appreciated.
Chris finally got used to his body. He was able to talk but couldn’t eat. Chris was a powerful tree, he faced windy and stormy days. Everything around him were wrecked but he was the only tree standing without losing any parts - only leaves. Chris made friends but with animals like birds, squirrels, possums and insects. He cared so much for them that he wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to him. His friends found happiness and respected him. One day Christine was walking home from school. She was exhausted and need a break from the heating sun. The lonely tree near the farm was the only shelter she could find. As she walking near the tree, she saw that the tree had a face shape. But she didn’t care because she was desperate for shelter. Then she sat down and enjoyed the view. “How are you doing sweet girl?”. She heard someone talking, she looked up and saw the mouth of the tree moving, it was talking to her.
Christine was frightened and didn’t know what to do. Except she screamed her head off as she was running towards her house, not even leaving a chance to respond back. “ I’ll never make any human friends” Chris told himself. Christine ran home and told her parents about what she’d seen. On that day Christine’s parents told the council about the dangerous tree. The council manager announced by the next week, the tree would be cut down. The frightened family thought it was a good idea because the tree will effect other people as well. 2 days before the tree was cut down, Christine was walking home all alone in the dark chilly night. Where 2 unknown guys tried to attack her from behind. Christine had nowhere to run except the dangerous tree. Chris saw that Christine was running and screaming towards him for help. But Chris didn’t know what to do, she was scared of him on the day they met. Then Chris saw 2 mens running after Christine. He noticed that Christine was running to him for help. Christine went and hid behind Chris where it was pitch black and hard for the kidnappers to see. The kidnappers stood right under the tree, not knowing that Chris the tree was alive. “OIII!!”Chris said, “who, who's there” one kidnapper said in a shaky voice. “BOOO!!!” Chris yelled. The 2 kidnappers ran like they’ve never ran before. Christine saw that the kidnappers were gone, so she walked out from pitch black. “Are you alright little girl?”, Chris asked in his gentle voice. “Why did you save me, I thought you were a dangerous tree” Christine replied. Chris didn’t want to answer her question “My name is Chris, I’m from Pollygon. I died from an accident at the age of 39, people in Pollygon didn’t like me much so they buried me here.” Chris explained “Years ago, a spell fell on my grave and I grew as a tree. What’s your name?” Chris asked. “My name is Christine, How sad of those people to hate you” Chris looked at the sky getting darker “Christine you better go home now before your parents get worried”. Christine thanked Chris and ran home.
Christine ran home and told her parents that she was saved from the dangerous tree. After Christine's long story, her parents went and told the council that their child has been saved from the dangerous tree. The council said that they wouldn’t cut down the tree. Christine was very happy. Everyday when school was finished, Christine would always hang out with Chris. She also made friends with the animals. Chris was happy he had a new friend.
Key Colours
Simple - Blue
Compound - Orange
Complex - Pink
While Chris was alive, he was hated by many people. This was because he took out all competitions in the town of Pollygan. At the age of 39 Chris passed away from a terrible accident. This was good news to people who hated Chris, but was bad news for his siblings. Chris was buried close to a farm. Where his grandfather lived 19 year ago until he passed. People of Pollygon made up a lie to stay away from the grave. Months passed by, the grave was lonely at all times. Then…. one night a spell fell upon the grave and from there a tree grew. No one had seen this new plant. But a girl named Christine who would always walk by to go school and back home. 2 months later the tree grew bigger and it was also alive. Chris was back - but not in the way he appreciated.
Chris finally got used to his body. He was able to talk but couldn’t eat. Chris was a powerful tree, he faced windy and stormy days. Everything around him were wrecked but he was the only tree standing without losing any parts - only leaves. Chris made friends but with animals like birds, squirrels, possums and insects. He cared so much for them that he wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to him. His friends found happiness and respected him. One day Christine was walking home from school. She was exhausted and need a break from the heating sun. The lonely tree near the farm was the only shelter she could find. As she walking near the tree, she saw that the tree had a face shape. But she didn’t care because she was desperate for shelter. Then she sat down and enjoyed the view. “How are you doing sweet girl?”. She heard someone talking, she looked up and saw the mouth of the tree moving, it was talking to her.
Christine was frightened and didn’t know what to do. Except she screamed her head off as she was running towards her house, not even leaving a chance to respond back. “ I’ll never make any human friends” Chris told himself. Christine ran home and told her parents about what she’d seen. On that day Christine’s parents told the council about the dangerous tree. The council manager announced by the next week, the tree would be cut down. The frightened family thought it was a good idea because the tree will effect other people as well. 2 days before the tree was cut down, Christine was walking home all alone in the dark chilly night. Where 2 unknown guys tried to attack her from behind. Christine had nowhere to run except the dangerous tree.
Chris saw that Christine was running and screaming towards him for help. But Chris didn’t know what to do, she was scared of him on the day they met. Then Chris saw 2 mens running after Christine. He noticed that Christine was running to him for help. Christine went and hid behind Chris where it was pitch black and hard for the kidnappers to see. The kidnappers stood right under the tree, not knowing that Chris the tree was alive. “OIII!!”Chris said, “who, who's there” one kidnapper said in a shaky voice. “BOOO!!!” Chris yelled. The 2 kidnappers ran like they’ve never ran before. Christine saw that the kidnappers were gone, so she walked out from pitch black. “Are you alright little girl?”, Chris asked in his gentle voice. “Why did you save me, I thought you were a dangerous tree” Christine replied. Chris didn’t want to answer her question “My name is Chris, I’m from Pollygon. I died from an accident at the age of 39, people in Pollygon didn’t like me much so they buried me here.” Chris explained “Years ago, a spell fell on my grave and I grew as a tree. What’s your name?” Chris asked. “My name is Christine, How sad of those people to hate you” Chris looked at the sky getting darker “Christine you better go home now before your parents get worried”. Christine thanked Chris and ran home.
Christine ran home and told her parents that she was saved from the dangerous tree. After Christine's long story, her parents went and told the council that their child has been saved from the dangerous tree. The council said that they wouldn’t cut down the tree. Christine was very happy. Everyday when school was finished, Christine would always hang out with Chris. She also made friends with the animals. Chris was happy he had a new friend.