The Isolated Tree

Before we move on to our real writing test, we had a practice of what a real writing test would turn out to be. We had a picture chosen by our teacher and we had to write a narrative under 40min. This is my narrative called The isolated tree. We had 3 different kinds of sentences in our writing. In pink is complex, orange is compound, and blue is a simple sentence. My normal writing is on the bottom. Please read and leave a comment to help out with my writing. Thank You!

The isolated tree

While Chris was alive, he was hated by many people. This was because he took out all competitions in the town of Pollygan. At the age of 39 Chris passed away from a terrible accident. This was good news to people who hated Chris, but was bad news for his siblings. Chris was buried close to a farm. Where his grandfather lived 19 year ago until he passed. People of Pollygon made up a lie to stay away from the grave. Months passed by, the grave was lonely at all times. Then…. one night a spell fell upon the grave and from there a tree grew. No one had seen this new plant.  But a girl named Christine who would always walk by to go school and back home. 2 months later the tree grew bigger and it was also alive. Chris was back - but not in the way he appreciated.

Chris finally got used to his body. He was able to talk but couldn’t eat. Chris was a powerful tree, he faced windy and stormy days. Everything around him were wrecked but he was the only tree standing without losing any parts - only leaves. Chris made friends but with animals like birds, squirrels, possums and insects. He cared so much for them that he wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to him. His friends found happiness and respected him. One day Christine was walking home from school. She was exhausted and need a break from the heating sun. The lonely tree near the farm was the only shelter she could find. As she walking near the tree, she saw that the tree had a face shape. But she didn’t care because she was desperate for shelter.  Then she sat down and enjoyed the view. “How are you doing sweet girl?”. She heard someone talking, she looked up and saw the mouth of the tree moving, it was talking to her.

Christine was frightened and didn’t know what to do. Except she screamed her head off as she was running towards her house, not even leaving a chance to respond back. “ I’ll never make any human friends” Chris told himself. Christine ran home and told her parents about what she’d seen. On that day Christine’s parents told the council about the dangerous tree. The council manager announced by the next week, the tree would be cut down. The frightened family thought it was a good idea because the tree will effect other people as well. 2 days before the tree was cut down, Christine was walking home all alone in the dark chilly night. Where 2 unknown guys tried to attack her from behind. Christine had nowhere to run except the dangerous tree. Chris saw that Christine was running and screaming towards him for help. But Chris didn’t know what to do, she was scared of him on the day they met. Then Chris saw 2 mens running after Christine. He noticed that Christine was running to him for help. Christine went and hid behind Chris where it was pitch black and hard for the kidnappers to see. The kidnappers stood right under the tree, not knowing that Chris the tree was alive. “OIII!!”Chris said, “who, who's there” one kidnapper said in a shaky voice. “BOOO!!!” Chris yelled. The 2 kidnappers ran like they’ve never ran before. Christine saw that the kidnappers were gone, so she walked out from pitch black. “Are you alright little girl?”, Chris asked in his gentle voice. “Why did you save me, I thought you were a dangerous tree” Christine replied. Chris didn’t want to answer her question “My name is Chris, I’m from Pollygon. I died from an accident at the age of 39, people in Pollygon didn’t like me much so they buried me here.” Chris explained “Years ago, a spell fell on my grave and I grew as a tree. What’s your name?” Chris asked. “My name is Christine, How sad of those people to hate you” Chris looked at the sky getting darker “Christine you better go home now before your parents get worried”. Christine thanked Chris and ran home.

Christine ran home and told her parents that she was saved from the dangerous tree. After Christine's long story, her parents went and told the council that their child has been saved from the dangerous tree. The council said that they wouldn’t cut down the tree. Christine was very happy. Everyday when school was finished, Christine would always hang out with Chris. She also made friends with the animals. Chris was happy he had a new friend.

Key Colours

• Simple - Blue
• Compound - Orange
• Complex - Pink

While Chris was alive, he was hated by many people. This was because he took out all competitions in the town of Pollygan. At the age of 39 Chris passed away from a terrible accident. This was good news to people who hated Chris, but was bad news for his siblings. Chris was buried close to a farm. Where his grandfather lived 19 year ago until he passed. People of Pollygon made up a lie to stay away from the grave. Months passed by, the grave was lonely at all times. Then…. one night a spell fell upon the grave and from there a tree grew. No one had seen this new plant.  But a girl named Christine who would always walk by to go school and back home. 2 months later the tree grew bigger and it was also alive. Chris was back - but not in the way he appreciated.

Chris finally got used to his body. He was able to talk but couldn’t eat. Chris was a powerful tree, he faced windy and stormy days. Everything around him were wrecked but he was the only tree standing without losing any parts - only leaves. Chris made friends but with animals like birds, squirrels, possums and insects. He cared so much for them that he wouldn’t let anything dangerous happen to him. His friends found happiness and respected him. One day Christine was walking home from school. She was exhausted and need a break from the heating sun. The lonely tree near the farm was the only shelter she could find. As she walking near the tree, she saw that the tree had a face shape. But she didn’t care because she was desperate for shelter.  Then she sat down and enjoyed the view. “How are you doing sweet girl?”. She heard someone talking, she looked up and saw the mouth of the tree moving, it was talking to her.

Christine was frightened and didn’t know what to do. Except she screamed her head off as she was running towards her house, not even leaving a chance to respond back. “ I’ll never make any human friends” Chris told himself. Christine ran home and told her parents about what she’d seen. On that day Christine’s parents told the council about the dangerous tree. The council manager announced by the next week, the tree would be cut down. The frightened family thought it was a good idea because the tree will effect other people as well. 2 days before the tree was cut down, Christine was walking home all alone in the dark chilly night. Where 2 unknown guys tried to attack her from behind. Christine had nowhere to run except the dangerous tree.

Chris saw that Christine was running and screaming towards him for help. But Chris didn’t know what to do, she was scared of him on the day they met. Then Chris saw 2 mens running after Christine. He noticed that Christine was running to him for help. Christine went and hid behind Chris where it was pitch black and hard for the kidnappers to see. The kidnappers stood right under the tree, not knowing that Chris the tree was alive. “OIII!!”Chris said, “who, who's there” one kidnapper said in a shaky voice. “BOOO!!!” Chris yelled. The 2 kidnappers ran like they’ve never ran before. Christine saw that the kidnappers were gone, so she walked out from pitch black. “Are you alright little girl?”, Chris asked in his gentle voice. “Why did you save me, I thought you were a dangerous tree” Christine replied. Chris didn’t want to answer her question “My name is Chris, I’m from Pollygon. I died from an accident at the age of 39, people in Pollygon didn’t like me much so they buried me here.” Chris explained “Years ago, a spell fell on my grave and I grew as a tree. What’s your name?” Chris asked. “My name is Christine, How sad of those people to hate you” Chris looked at the sky getting darker “Christine you better go home now before your parents get worried”. Christine thanked Chris and ran home.

Christine ran home and told her parents that she was saved from the dangerous tree. After Christine's long story, her parents went and told the council that their child has been saved from the dangerous tree. The council said that they wouldn’t cut down the tree. Christine was very happy. Everyday when school was finished, Christine would always hang out with Chris. She also made friends with the animals. Chris was happy he had a new friend.

4 years of training

At literacy this morning, we had to choose a picture and write a narrative about it. I chose a Paralympic photo because it was easy to explain. I used TOPS to write my story.
Starting: Nathan William is from Great Britain. He made the men's 200m Paralympic sprint finals, held in the Maracana stadium. This event was happening after the women's Javelin finals where Emily Spares from USA won gold. After the women's javelin throw it was Nathan's chance to win for Great Britain.

 Nathan William had the disability of losing both legs, with the replace of 2 robot legs. In the finals, all other sprinters had 1 robot leg which made Nathan frightened. Nathan had 4 years of training but turned up in the finals not having the confidence to serve his country well.

 But then Nathan thought of the words his mother gave him in times he needed help. " Believe in yourself". So Nathan used these words as his motivation, he was back on track. He wanted to use the 4 years as his confidence on track and disability problems. He also remembered the reasons why he was at the Paralympics .... to represent his one and only country, to make his family proud, and make the 4 years of pain worth it.

 "BANG!!". The gun went and the sprinters were gone like a bolt. "Believe in yourself", the words kept on popping in his head. The 100m mark was past and Nathan William was coming 2nd. Nathan pushed himself to lead the race even though it was painful , but was worth it. The USA sprinter gave up his 1st place to Nathan William and came 2nd. But before the finish line was past, Nathan William lifted his hands with pride because he knew the gold medal was coming his way. The finish line had been past, Nathan William received his gold medal with pride knowing there country and family was proud!

A Trip to Samoa

Red Stars
* Apia is where Elizabeth is

* Sava'ii is where Taunese is from


In our literacy class we had to write a narrative about Samoa. I wrote a story about us planning to have a trip to Samoa and Elizabeth getting lost.So I hope you enjoy .

Paragraph 1

It was nearly the holidays in New Zealand and Rowana , Elizabeth , Ashley and I are planning to have a trip to one of the Islands. “Which island are we going to” said Ashley “New Zealand” said Rowana , “Were already at New Zealand dumb” Said Elizabeth “ I Know Samoa” Said Ashley. “ Okay , well go next week on Monday” I said. “lets meet at the airport at 1:00pm”

Paragraph 2

“Wow it looks amazing” Said Elizabeth as we were walking out of the Plane. “ Where are we going to go ” said Ashley . “I know!” Said Elizabeth as she left us, “ Lets go to Savai'i first” as she turned to the left , “Um Elizabeth, Savai’i is the other way”,I Shouted, but she was already gone,“ She doesn’t know where she’s going,” I said. “come on lets go to my aunts house,” I said. The others were following me to my aunts house, when we got there my aunty said “You guys have to share one room,” She said. “ that's Cool,” Ashley said “I wonder where Elizabeth is,” Rowana said

Paragraph 3

“shall we go to the beach now, it’s so hot, It feels like i’m gonna burn,” Said Ashley, “Okay lets go” “wait,” said Rowana “ I forgot my bags at the airport,”

“Oh My Gosh, Take care of your stuff,” said Ashley

“now you are going to spend your own money on new things,” “ and don’t ask me for any of my money” than we left to go to the shops to buy some things for “Rowana”. When we finished buying things for Rowana we went straight to the beach.

Paragraph 4

It was our last day at Samoa and my aunt gave us 2 big packet of Banana chips and a big packet of bread fruit. Then my aunt dropped us to the airport and went. While we were waiting we saw Elizabeth , she was tired and funny looking. We gave her a packet of chips , then Ashley said , “where were you?’’ the whole week I was here” she said. “Come on lets go back to New Zealand.